Tuesday, April 6, 2010

5 remix songs that were obscene

Quite a few years ago, there used to be a lot of discussion and criticism about the remixing of songs. The songs used to be generally disliked by the elder members of the society coz of the vulgarity the videos carried. Well, for the same reason, the younger masses quite liked the remix songs.
I love listening to remixed songs. I like some of them, more than their original versions. But, i also agree that certain remix songs are video shot in such a way that the music composers and the singers of the original song would get a heart-attack if they saw that. Presented below is a list of 5 remix songs that can truly be described as "obscene":
1. Keh doon tumhe
Well, the remix of the song was really awesome. Most of us love to hear it. But the video of the song had a scene that was like how-can-they-show-that-on-a-family-channel..?? In the song, a struggling actor approaches a director for a role in his movie. The director sends one of his girls (who btw, is always skating) to that actor. And she goes and..... takes that guy to the land of ultimate euphoria by doing some magic by her mouth. That's so indecent.

2. Tu tu hai wohi
Well, i just love the original version of this song. The lyrics are amazing. But, the remix of this song brutally murders the very charm of that song. The video of the song shows three girls from the "make new friends" call center having a phone chat with three rejected-cum-desperate-cum-lonely guys. And one of the guys, while on that mujhse frandship karoge phone call, goes to the bathroom and.... enjoys some of his lone time. That's so gross.

3. Kaanta laga
How can we forget this Shefali Zariwala number. This song was much criticized because of certain visuals it carried. But as they say, even bad publicity is good publicity. This song was quite very famous and is still considered one of the best DJ numbers.
Just a question here: How many of us had actually seen the original video of the song before this remix came? Those who have still not seen it, go and youtube it. You just won't believe that this audio track had this video.

4. Chadti Jawani
Yah yah! The remix song is quite peppy and enjoyable. It doesn't really have much vulgarity, but, in one of the visuals of the song, Nigar Khan is shown squeezing her butts. And she seems quite amazed while doing that. That's so cheap!

5. Dafliwale dafli baja
Again, this song also does not have much vulgarity but, one thing objectionable about this song is the way they have experimented with the main words of the lyrics of the song. The dancing item girl refers to her butts as dafli and while saying "dafli baja", she shakes her hips. And that, by no means, looks like the girl wants the hero to play dafli for her. The video attains a new height of boorishness when she shows her ghunghroo. Now what kind of dumbass ties ghungroo to her thigh? That's so moronic.

Now that you have seen the images above quite attentively, let me remind you that these songs actually belong to the great great legends who composed, directed and sung the original versions. Kishore Kumar and Asha Bhosle have sung the original Keh doon tumhe and Tu tu hai wohi. Majrooh Sultanpuri has composed the lyrics for Kaanta laga and iconic Lata has sung it. Lata and Rafi have sung Chadti jawani and Dafliwale dafli baja.
So, as they say it, original is original.
If you know any more remix songs that were obscene too, don't be a lazy ass and leave a comment below.
And stop staring at the images now.
Btw, i know most of you have not seen the Dafliwale remix video. So go and youtube it.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Vhon, Thoo, Sree

Amongst the three subjects i have selected this sem, there is a subject about algorithms. A Korean professor teaches that. Its a very difficult subject. Moreover, what the prof teaches is beyond my understanding. He speaks English very indistinctly. One of his favourite words is "Right". He pronounces it as "Rhai ( र्हाय )". Try pronouncing that.

And in his great obscure English, its fun when he says "One, Two, Three". He pronounces them as "Vhon, Thoo, Sree". More fun is when he has to say "Two raised to two raised to two raised to two" He goes "Thoo raythoo thoo raythoo thoo raythoo thoo".

So, amongst my three subjects, this algorithm one is the most difficult. We just had an exam of the subject and i was expecting low grades in that. But, the cool thing is that the prof announced the exam as open-book and open-laptop. OK! So, we were allowed to search for the answers of the exam in books and on internet (No wonder that during the exam, everybody was online on google talk). But, its not as cool as it sounds. As expected, the questions were very tough. Out of the five questions he had set in the exam paper, i could find only two on the internet. About an hour after the exam began, the prof asked " Finished? " Everybody replied a loud NO. He said "Anyways lets conclude the exam. Return me the papers by tomorrow noon." Everybody was like "henh!!?? henh??" Wow! That was cool. This was the first time i appeared for such an exam. One of the new "things" i discovered about US.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Memoir: The Speed Shift

3 years ago
March, 2007
I love my Idea number. Its a corporate plan number. So, the calling rates are pretty low.... as low as 30 paise per minute for a local call. That's like wow! But what's better is that with this corporate plan, even the GPRS is quite cheap. Just Rs. 5 per day. (AirTel provides it for Rs. 12 per day.) So, i activate the GPRS every weekend. The speed is pretty OK. During the daytime i get about 40-50 kbps. During nights, it turns very slow. But still, it takes only a few minutes for a slashphone.com page to get fully loaded. Btw, slashphone.com is a great site for mobile content. Thats my source for downloading wallpapers for my Motorazr v3i.
Broadband, these days, in India is quite evolving. Even 2 Mbps connections are available. But, those plans are very expensive and allow limited data transfers. Can't afford it..., but 2 Mbps sounds so cooool. What can not be possible with that super-speed..!! I can only dream about surfing net at such a speed.

Today
March, 2010
I love LOST. Although the story of the series has crossed the limits of rationality, but still its a great fun to watch. The sixth season is currently on air. A new episode gets aired every Tuesday. I watch it regularly on hulu.com. Its a great site to legally watch free stuff.
But, our net connection pisses us off sometimes. I hate when a running video gets paused and the shitty "buffering" icon is shown on the center of my screen. Although its just for a few seconds, but still, its ridiculing to get interrupted. Imagine a crucial scene from Lost. Jack asks, "How are we going to stop them? What's the plan?" and Daniel is about to say something when the screen freezes and you find that the video is still buffering. I go like "Abey yaar.. is net ki toh.." I mean, what's the use of having a 10 Mbps connection? One should never have interruptions while watching a movie or a video online. With a 10 Mbps connection, you should forget that some word as "buffering" even exits.
Broadband, these days, in USA seems to be evolving. The U.S. Federal Commission has just released a plan for a faster broadband speed. It is aimed that by 2015, households should have access to 50 Mbps download speeds and by 2020, it should reach 100 Mbps. And anchor institutions like universities, government offices etc. will get access to 1 Gbps of speed (Source).
Wow! Sounds cool... But, it doesn't feel too exciting. I know how its going to be. Its quite expected. And if the human race can't publicly get access to net speeds upto 1 Gbps by 2020, then, erm...., its quite shameful i suppose.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

My Kinda Girl

I have always loved Hindi songs. As a committed Bollywood fan, i liked very few English numbers when i was in India. So now that i'm in the U.S., have my likings changed? No. Now, that i'm in the U.S., i like Hindi songs even more. Yes, earlier i used to love Hindi songs, but now i "respect" them too. I understand that its a weird statement. But that's the best way i could explain myself in words. So, like i did last year, i'm again posting a list of the songs that i am listening over and over again these days.

Kiska rasta dekhe (Joshila)

Cham cham jhilmilaate (Striker)

Ek aankh marun- Remix by DJ Aqeel

Thoda hai, thode ki zarurat hai (Khatta Meetha)

My Kinda Girl by Raghav

Humrahee by Raghav

Tu kahan (Tere ghar ke samne)

Tere darshan by Arminder Gill

Dil toh bachcha hai (Ishqiya)

Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus

Dhagala lagli kala- Remix

Socha nahi tha (Kaante)

Pe pe pepein (Chance pe dance)

Ajj din chadeya (Love aaj kal)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Chitresh Patel, A.B.C.D.

Devon Avenue was the last place on earth Chitresh liked to be at. Mainly because Devon Avenue is also known as Little India. It is a part of Chicago which has a large population of Indian people and shops. Chitresh Patel, son of Jitesh and Hetal Patel, is 12 years old. His father Jitesh Motilal Patel hailed from Baroda, Gujarat. He was settled in the US since Chitresh's birth. He got married to Hetal Chiman Desai 14 years ago. But, he made it sure not to have a child in India. When Chitresh was born at the Cook County hospital, Chicago, Jitesh was very happy. Coz now he was a father of a US citizen. Today, Jitesh is a proud owner of "Chitresh Indian Spices Shop" located at Devon Avenue, Chicago. Chitresh's insides curl in disgust whenever he sees the hoarding of the shop that carries his names on it. Chitresh hated everything that was related to India: his name, his father's shop and his parents as well. He was a proud US citizen. Chitresh was a typical ABCD.
Any Indian who has come to study in the US knows what ABCD stands for. It stands for American Born Confused Desi. This refers to persons who have been born and brought up in America but their parents were basically Indians. Technically, they are American citizens but that desi blood flows in them. They are called "confused" because they are American citizens with desi look, they like to be called Americans but sometimes behave like desis, then get called Indian, then feel like blah blah.. too confusing to explain. Hope you got it.
Call it the generation gap or the cultural difference that although Jitesh had his first kiss with Hetal, 2 months after their marriage, Chitresh had his with Jennifer Brown when he was 10. Jennifer was Chitresh's then girlfriend. Their affair lasted for four months. Currently, Chitresh is dating his Korean class-mate Jingyi Hwan. He describes her to his parents as "Jingyi mari soulmate che." Jitesh and Hetal always wanted an adarsh, sanskari chokro. But, Chitresh was exactly opposite to their expectations.
Jitesh, just like any other Indian father, would beat Chitresh for his dirty American habits. But, Chitresh had twice called the police accusing his parents of "child abuse and violence". Its a crime in the US if you beat your child. Jitesh was warned by the police that if one more time he would beat his child, he would be in a serious trouble. Jitesh now detested his own child. Whenever he saw Chitresh, he felt the urge to throw him in garbage.
One evening, as usual, Hetal was trying to teach Chitresh about Indian cultures and manners. The discussion reached to a point when Chitresh and his mother were debating about him having a girlfriend. The debate turned into a loud dispute. Chitresh felt that his parents never wanted him happy. Hetal was angrily ordering him to stop dating girls until he was an adult. Chitresh disgreed in a louder tone. The fight of arrogant words continued until Hetal angrily said, "Stop dating that girl or else we shall disown you." Chitresh looked at her outrageously and calmly replied, "Then do it..., you bitch." Hetal was shocked to her very core. Jitesh, who had been an audience till now, was also stunned. Chitresh walked to his room carrying a sense-of-achievement that he had won the war of words. Jitesh went to his wife and mumbled to her, "Let it be." to pacify her. The night at the Patel house had a silence like the one we find after the conclusion of a storm.
For the next three months, Jitesh and Hetal never talked to Chitresh about his dating habits. They neither spoke angrily to him nor beat him. He felt like a king. He started appreciating the fact that his parents had now begun to respect his personal space.
Summer came. These summer holidays were going to be the most boring days of Chitresh's life. He was supposed to go to India for three months with his parents. He tried various excuses to cancel his trip. But his parents were reluctant to keep him alone in Chicago.
So, on the 17th of April, Jitesh Patel and family boarded the Lufthansa airlines: Chicago to Mumbai via Frankfurt flight at the Chicago O'Hare International airport. Including a stop at Frankfurt, the total journey was of about 19 hours. Finally, they landed at the Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport, Mumbai. After waiting for about 4 hours, they had a Kingfisher flight from Mumbai to Baroda.
Jitesh and Hetal loved India. Jitesh was in a very jolly mood since he was visiting his homeland Baroda. Their house was very old but since Jitesh was brought up here, he loved it. Chitresh could not understand why his parents loved so much to be in this country. Cousins welcomed them with garlands. Uncles and aunties flooded love on Chitresh. Chitresh had never received so many pecks on his cheeks. He also heard his name being brutally assailed from "Chitresh" to "Chitrayss".
Finally, after a tiresome journey, they entered their house. They were supposed to freshen up and have delicious thali made at home. But, Jitesh had some other plans. As Chitresh entered the house and kept his small bag on the floor, Jitesh went up to him, gave him a loving look, smiled at him and delivered a tight slap on his cheek. The slap was hard enough to make Chitresh fall on the floor. Jitesh lifted his son by his collar and delivered another tight slap on the other cheek. Hetal came there and said to Jitesh, "Jamwa pachi maarwanu (Beat him after dinner)" Jitesh took a deep breath and said "OK!" and went away. This time, it was Chitresh's turn to be shocked. With red cheeks and wet eyes, standing on an alien soil, he was feeling helpless..., for the first time in his life.
In the next three months, Chitresh got well known to the concept of being "well-behaved". Jitesh had hardly hit him in US. He compensated that in those three months. Jitesh also made it sure that he did not reach the level of violence. He maintained his harshness to the point he felt every parent must show his child.
Today, Jitesh and family are back in Chicago. Chitresh is now single. He knows that for taking any big step, the consent of his parents is must. He asks his parents before he spends any big amount of money. And he follows the Indian rule of "you are an adult when you are 18".
Btw, now he likes dhokla too.
This is a true story. One of my roomies told it to me. I found it worth blogging.
It also raises a question that whether Jitesh was correct on his part or not? As per the US law of child welfare, any act on the part of parent that result's in child's death, physical harm, emotional harm or exploitation is considered as child abuse. This is also true for Indian law. But in the US, even mere beating is considered as child abuse. How correct is that?

Friday, February 12, 2010

My Name Is Hrithik Roshan

Hrithik joins Twitter. This news made my morning. I am a big fan of Hrithik and was keenly waiting for him to join Twitter. But what's sad is that him joining the tweeting bandwagon wasn't a very hyped news as Shahrukh's was. To spoil that, this was categorized under the whole My Name is Khan controversy. This is coz Hrithik's first tweet was:
Spread humanity with a vengeance, GO WATCH MY NAME IS KHAN. ..and for the record, my name is HRITHIK ROSHAN.
At a point where celebrities join Twitter and keep tweeting shit, i expect quality tweets from Hrithik.
Shahrukh, Shahid, Priyanka Chopra, Abhishek Bachchan etc. all tweet shit. Vivek Oberoi is on Twitter too and yahan bhi, he keeps flattering other celebs.
What's worse is that crazy fans keep Retweeting their crap tweets. Lets have a look at some of the brilliantly crap tweets of last week.
Abhishek Bachchan: "sometimes we might get it wrong. but our intentions are always noble, honest and truthful."
Is that about marrying Aishwarya??

Priyanka Chopra: "Wish I had all the answers!!! Wish I knew!!!! Why can't we just know.. Am I rambling??? Oye veh!!!"
The depression of doing Pyaar Impossible is quite evident through your tweets.

Shahid Kapoor: "have come to realize over the last few days that actually deep down im a loner .. on many occasions that iv had da chance of havin company"
Missing Kareena?? ;)

Shahrukh Khan: "acqua de parma and creed royal water/ i can speak hindi english and urdu /yes i think ross show is there/white light/no regrets yet"
"I am the King. I can say anything rubbish and get it appreciated."

Mahesh Bhatt: "The line dividing good & evil cuts through the heart of every human being."
Yaay! What a thought! Make a film on it. But do tweet the number of kissing and bed scenes in that.

Uday Chopra: "Sorry for not Tweeting y'all...just took an off..."
No body cares Uday boy.

Vivek Oberoi: "Congratulations @kjohar25 and @iamsrk for the phenomenal response to MNIK!!! Your film has now become a symbol of conviction,courage & hope!".
"Salman doesn't give me a damn. Lemme try SRK."

Sonam Kapoor: "Not getting tickets for mnik.. SUPERB!! Will try for toms show"
LOL.. woot? Weren't you invited for the private screening? Poor girl. People still seem to remember Saawariya.
and the list goes on. We have a fresh shit every new day coz #CelebsTweetShit.
P.S. Btw, I'm waiting for Salman Khan to join Twitter. I like him too.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

5 reasons why Orkut & Facebook suck

They are the leading social networking websites of the world. Not having a profile on them is considered a crime. They are the platform where you can flaunt your whatever-you-want-to to all the friends you made in your life. They are Orkut and Facebook. They are superb! There are many reasons why they rock! But there are certain reasons why they suck big time. They have certain "features" which are very irritating. But the features aren't responsible for the annoyance, they are certain users that cause it to suck and make us go WTF!!
1. First and Last names on Orkut:
People keep vague first and last names on orkut. They like to name themselves in such a way that they are hard to search or identify if someone needs them. To add to it, they have amazingly irrelevant Display Pictures (DPs) to complement their super-names.
Orkut names
Orkut Names
Orkut Names
2. Dumb and moronic quizzes:
Taking Facebook quizzes are the best ways, ever invented by human race, to waste your time. They are meaningless, fruitless, worthless and above all, totally useless. But still, we take all silly quizzes to soothe our anxiousness of finding what the initials of the name of our lover are, how well do we know some dim-witted friend of ours, which G. I. Joe we are or how big our butts are.
Facebook quiz
Facebook quiz

3. Farmville, Mafia Wars etc.
Some people seem to be too addicted to Facebook applications like Farmville or Mafia Wars. For them, reaching new levels in the game is one of the most important works of their lives. To annoy us, they send us crap requests to inform us how the growth of crops on their farm is one of the most crucial global issues. As the MTV Tickr joke says "If even half of people who play Farmville actually work on farms, India would have been a developed country by now."
Farmville funny
4. Certain Orkut communities:
Some Orkut communities make you go "Why the hell people join this??". 'You never understood me', 'I think about you in the loo', 'Blue (the colour)' and what not. And what's worth mentioning is that these communities have thousands and lacs of members. This acts as a proof for the famous line: "God loves stupid people. That's why he made so many."
Orkut communities
5. Photo tagging in Facebook:
Some people on Facebook add some thoughtful, designful, "quoteful" and crapful images and tag friends in such images. Also, many others find it significant enough to comment their valuable opinions about them. Your parents would have never thought that your name, which they kept with so many expectations, would be tagged to some of the most lame and awful images of this universe.
Facebook photo tagging
Facebook photo tagging

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ishqiya (Movie Review)

In a country where films about love stories between college kiddos or reality issues (like fashion world, celeb life etc.), set in the lavish urban flavour attract huge audience, making a film like Ishqiya is like making audience realize that stories can happen in rural backdrops too. We have had films like Omkara, Dor and Kaminey that made the audience know that rural stories aren't bore. Ishqiya continues this trend.
Speaking about the film, it is quality work by Vishal Bharadwaj and Abhishek Chaubey. The film has a wonderful story. And thanks to the presentation and direction, that you get absorbed in the film.
Two thieves Khalujaan (Naseeruddin Shah) and Babban (Arshad Warsi) are trying to run away from Mushtaq, a typical gunda whom they are supposed to pay back 25 lac Rupees. They seek refuge at Krishna's (Vidya Balan) home whose husband, reportedly, is killed in a cylinder blast accident. Here begin the Ishqiyaan. Both Khalujaan and Babban fall in love with her. Amidst this, to earn money to pay back to Mushtaq, the three of them plan to kidnap a steel company owner. Then, an order-of-events happens that changes lives of the three.
All actors in the film are brilliant. Every character of the movie is totally different from one another, has its own unique features. And every actor essays his/her character flawlessly. Even the actor who plays an old woman Tai.
The songs of the movie have already been superhit. Especially Dil to bachcha hai. Its one of the best songs I've heard. All songs suit the story perfectly and there is no unnecessary dhangad-dhinga.
The story is superb. It has its own special points that people shall remember for years coming: The use of ChSo4, the funny-cum-serious uncle-nephew relationship, the line "Tumhara ishq ishq aur hamara ishq sex" etc.
Overall, the movie is an amazing intellectual work. Its different, its funny, its spicy, its chichori but above all, its lovable. It seems the first blockbuster of 2010. The film is a must-watch.
My Rating 3.5 on 5.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Veer (Movie Review)

I'm a fan of Salman Khan and had very high expectations from Veer. But unfortunately, Veer turned out to be a big disappointment. Throughout the movie, you desperately wish for the movie to end soon. The story, the screenplay and the direction are terrible. Following is the short synopsis of the story. If you are reading it, get ready to be confused and irritated.
Back in 1862, the king of Madhavgarh (Jackie Shroff) joins hands with the British people and betrays the leader of Pindhari clan, Prithvi (Mithun Chakravarthy). Prithvi then takes an oath to kill the king and the British people.... someday. Then, his wife (Neena Gupta) gives birth to a baby boy. Undoubtedly, he is the hero of our movie: Veer (Salman Khan). Prithvi sends Veer and his younger brother Punya (Sohail Khan) to London to learn and understand the British ways. Here, Veer falls in love with Yashodhara (Zarine Khan) who's the princess of Madhavgarh... ya ya.., she's Jackie Shroff's daughter in the film.
So, in the London University, Veer learns the British ways and then also kills a few British people alongwith Yashodhara's two brothers (Puru Rajkumar and Aryan Vaid). He returns back to India, tells his father whom he loves. His father, Prithvi gets very proud that Veer has fallen in love with his enemy's daughter. Then, Veer plans to attack the king of Madhavgarh as he's the new leader of the Pindhari clan. Arey haan, amidst this hoch-poch, Veer marries Yashodhara and they celebrate their first wedding night when the Pindhari people, the junta of Madhavgarh and some British people all stand guard waiting for the morning for that great fight to begin.
And Veer dies in the end.
Yes he does. He gets shot by a bullet while he is dueling with his father, Prithvi with sword. Yah! Don't ask me how that happened.
But after he gets shot by the bullet, Veer rides horse, he kills a lot of British people, also kills the king of Madhavgarh, has a final chat with his dad and then finally dies.
Speaking about performances, Mithun delivered a great performance. Salman has that same "Wanted" like expressions. Debutante Zarine gives an average performance. She looks gorgeous throughout the film. Sohail gets wasted in the movie with his ridiculing performance.
Also, just like the story and the direction, the songs of the movie also play an important role in making it a disaster. The songs are terribly bore.
Btw, at the end, story is taken 20 years ahead, just like an Ekta Kapoor soap, where Prithvi becomes a dadaji. Yah... we have Veer's son too and guess who plays it? Tadaa.. Salman himself.
Overall, the movie seems as if Wanted set in the 19th century along with flavours of Gladiator and Troy. Watch it only if you are a real die-hard Salman Khan fan.. I-can-do-anything-for-Salman types. Still there is no guarantee that you'll like the movie.
My rating 1.5 on 5

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

9 baj gaye kya?

The "system" of mobile calling in the USA.
We charge each mobile call in India based on some particular rate per minute/second. Also, in India, only outgoing calls and SMSes are charged. However in the US, its not like that. Here the system is very very different.
In the US, there is nothing such as outgoing call rates per minute. In fact, there is nothing such as an outgoing or an incoming call. Let me clarify this: Every person who gets a mobile, pays certain monthly rent (like post-paid service in our country). He, based on the amount of rent, gets some minutes. He can use these minutes to talk anywhere in the US. These minutes get consumed as the person uses them (whether for an outgoing call or an incoming one). For example, I got an AT&T mobile number. My monthly rent is $40. For this amount, i get, say, 500 minutes. Now, these minutes start getting exhausted as i use them. So, even if i make any call (outgoing) or receive one (incoming), irrespective of the nature of the call, these minutes get used up. Same is the logic for an SMS. There is nothing such as an incoming or an outgoing SMS. Whether you send it or receive it, you are charged 25 cents.
Pretty strange and expensive...!! But the catch is, in the US, all inter-network calls are free 24*7 i.e. say AT&T to AT&T or T-Mobile to T-Mobile is totally free anytime, anyday and your "minutes" don't get consumed. Not just that, but all calls within US, are free weekdays 9pm to 6am and.. and.. and... 24 hours on weekends i.e. every Saturday and Sunday, for the whole day. During this time, you can call any US number, without worrying about the consumption of your "minutes".
So, here, everybody likes when the clock ticks 9 pm on weekdays since, then, the US calling turns free. During weekends, its free for the whole day.
The above described plan is the most commonly used one. Other plans are also available.